Snarky Responses To Yahoo Answers

Comic writer Matthew Cory responds to idiotic questions on Yahoo! Answers with unhelpful but hilarious responses. This book is a collection of those responses..

It's the sequel that no one asked for and nobody wanted! Join comedian Matthew Cory as he once again poses as the world's worst advice columnist, giving hilariously idiotic answers to equally idiotic questions..

How many of us never meet the person with whom we could be happy? How many of us limit our romantic choice to the people who happen to wash up on our shore? In Why Mr Right Can’t Find You, J.M. Kearns, Ph. D., shows that finding true love can be a proactive adventure. In chapters like How Men See Women, The Underrated Chance Encounter, and The Truth About Bars, J.M. Kearns lays bare the surprising vulnerabilities of the single male, and the power they confer on women. Men, he explains, are not shallow, not the enemy, and not aliens from Mars. In fact, the good man who is searching for you is your greatest ally, and Kearns shows you exactly how to take advantage of that fact. In the process he overturns the classic dating myths – that destiny chose the "one and only" man for you, that baggage is bad, that all men prefer the same body type – and solves the fascinating riddle of compatibility, with a hilarious and practical guide to the factors that make two people click, illustrated with real-life vignettes straight from the dating trenches. Finally, in a full online dating section, Kearns (who met his partner online) gives clear, simple advice on sites, photo sets, matchmaking, body issues, and that crucial first meeting. Review "If you’ve been on the lookout for ages but still haven’t found The One, this is for you...you’ll be in the arms of your true love in no time!" —OK! Magazine "A literary MRI of the male brain." —Georgie Banks, CBC News Viewpoint. "Kearns insists it’s really not difficult to direct the right man to you, whether it’s online, someone you already know, or a total stranger. So read this, sit back and wait for the offers to pour in... Kearns says we should break the mentality of ‘acceptable’ places and realize ‘any time is a good time to meet Mr. Right.’ And sadly, men can’t read our minds to establish our interest, so direct him to you." —Cosmopolitan-UK.

Mr Right is out there now - and the woman he wants is you. Yes, you...as you are right now; not when you've lost weight, or when you know more about football or cars! Why Mr Right Can't Find You... exposes the classic myths of dating and reveals the surprising secrets of true compatibility, giving you the tools to eliminate the Mr Wrongs and, more importantly, recognise the perfect man for you. No more playing games or second-guessing, with this book you will discover that any time is the right time to meet Mr Right, that online dating can be the most successful way to find a partner and, above all, that your ideal mate is out there now, looking for you. You just have to go to the right places... Witty and down-to-earth, this practical guide will turn everything you thought you knew about mating and dating on its head..

Whilst much has been written about the doors that technology can open for students, less has been said about its impact on teachers and professors. Although technology undoubtedly brings with it huge opportunities within higher education, there is also the fear that it will have a negative effect both on faculty and on teaching standards. Education Is Not an App offers a bold and provocative analysis of the economic context within which educational technology is being implemented, not least the financial problems currently facing higher education institutions around the world. The book emphasizes the issue of control as being a key factor in whether educational technology is used for good purposes or bad purposes, arguing that technology has great potential if placed in caring hands. Whilst it is a guide to the newest developments in education technology, it is also a book for those faculty, technology professionals, and higher education policy-makers who want to understand the economic and pedagogical impact of technology on professors and students. It advocates a path into the future based on faculty autonomy, shared governance, and concentration on the university’s traditional role of promoting the common good. Offering the first critical, in-depth assessment of the political economy of education technology, this book will serve as an invaluable guide to concerned faculty, as well as to anyone with an interest in the future of higher education..

On Teen Internet Pornography: If you Yahoo 'free teen sex pictures' Yahoo gives you 142,000,000 pages to enjoy...two right clicks of the mouse and you've got a free porn collection! On Creation and Evolution: The debate about creation and evolution is fair game. What is not fair is the efforts of one side to silence the rights of the other to their beliefs and opinions, a wrong historically committed by both sides. On Homosexuality: Let the debate continue, but let it be infused with truthfulness instead of lies, starting with the scientific fact that people are not born gay. On Suicide: There, in the middle of the gray, dead cement basement room, a boy hangs from a floor joist above by a length of shipping strapping, its length stretched to its limit, its form cut deeply into the boy's neck...We learn later he was bullied at school. On Faith: All the arguments in the world for or against Christ don't matter... It all comes down to this; either you want to believe or you don't. And then you live your life accordingly. Readers of Andrew McIntosh's regular op-ed columns in The Californian-a San Diego area daily newspaper-will instantly recognize the witty, biting prose he uses to drive his points home in his first book, The Two Suggestions. Teens and parents will deeply relate to McIntosh's personal and professional experiences as he shares his orphanage and adoption story, his big city paramedic career, and his various youth advocacy experiences spanning several decades. The Two Suggestions should be mandatory reading for every teenager, parent and youth advocate in America and Canada today. In the new America-secular, immoral, addicted and violent-The Two Suggestions offers today's youth powerful tools to thrive in the face of confusion, anger and social chaos..

Colbert is to politics as the FameFatale is to celebrity life—both deliciously irresistible. If Hollywood is a sport, you want Leslie Gornstein on your team and this playbook in your ridiculously oversized leather purse. The Celebrity Playbook is the perfect introduction for newcomers to the exciting alternate reality of the celebrity lifestyle. A must-read for anyone who cares why so many celebs are sporting “bumps,” or whether they are really “just like us,” this guide—nay, rulebook—lays down the law on what you need to know to play Hollywood in a simple and concise manner. (And if you don’t care? You care. It’s a celebrity culture; if you can’t embrace it, mock it!) The voice is intelligently hilarious, and everyone’s favorite Answer Bitch has been around the boulevard once or twice. For the first time on the written page, she reveals the secrets to celebrity life. Here’s everything you need to know to hire and fire assistants, develop a loyal entourage, get free makeup, and keep those inaccurate cellulite-inclusive photographs out of the press. With timeless anecdotes, razor-sharp quotes, and illustrative charts, The Celebrity Playbook is the smart girl’s response to People..

Have you ever wondered why a music artist would perform gratuitous lyrics while wearing the cross? Does having millions of fans constitute that an artist is in good standing with God? If so, this book will answer your questions and many others, as it features author Tiffany Mitchell's conversations with God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit about Rap, Hip-Hop, Pop, and R & B's most celebrated acts. Both witty and endearing, find out what God and Christ have to say about 23 contemporary artists, including T.I., Missy Elliott, Mary J. Blige, and 50 Cent. E-mail the author at [email protected].

If fate sent you an email, would you answer? When teenage movie star Graham Larkin accidentally sends small town girl Ellie O'Neill an email about his pet pig, the two seventeen-year-olds strike up a witty and unforgettable correspondence, discussing everything under the sun, except for their names or backgrounds. Then Graham finds out that Ellie's Maine hometown is the perfect location for his latest film, and he decides to take their relationship from online to in-person. But can a star as famous as Graham really start a relationship with an ordinary girl like Ellie? And why does Ellie want to avoid the media's spotlight at all costs?.

If Hollywood is a sport, you want Leslie Gornstein on your team and this playbook in your ridiculously-oversized leather purse. The A-List Playbook is the perfect introduction for newcomers to the exciting alternate reality of the celebrity lifestyle. A must-read for anyone who cares why so many celebs are sporting "bumps," or whether they are really "just like us," this guide—nay, rulebook—lays down the law on what you need to know to play Hollywood in a simple and concise manner. (And if you don't care? You care. It's a celebrity culture; if you can't embrace it, mock it!) The voice is intelligently hilarious, and everyone's favorite Answer Bitch has been around the boulevard once or twice. (How else would she have scored a column on E! and a radio show on Sirius?) For the first time on the written page, she reveals the secrets to celebrity life. Here's everything you need to know to hire and fire assistants, develop a loyal entourage, get free makeup, and keep those inaccurate cellulite-inclusive photographs out of the press. With timeless anecdotes, razor sharp quotes, and illustrative charts, The A-List Playbook is the smart girl's response to People..

In poised and elegant prose, Kathryn Harrison weaves in The Binding Chair; or, A Visit from the Foot Emancipation Society a stunning story of women, travel, and flight; of love, revenge, and fear; of the search for home and the need to escape it. Set in alluring Shanghai at the turn of the century, The Binding Chair intertwines the destinies of a Chinese woman determined to forget her past and a Western girl focused on the promises of the future. Beautiful, charismatic, destructive, May escapes an ar-ranged marriage in rural nineteenth-century China for life in a Shanghai brothel, where she meets Arthur, an Australian whose philanthropic pursuits lead him into one scrape after another. As a member of the Foot Emancipation Society, Arthur calls on May not for his pleasure but for her rehabilitation, only to find himself immediately and helplessly seduced by the sight of her bound feet. Reforming May is out of the question, so love-struck Arthur marries her instead and brings her home to live with him, his sister and brother-in-law, and their two girls, Alice and Cecily. In Alice, May sees the possibility of redemption: a surrogate for a child she has lost. And it is to May that Alice turns for the love her own mother withholds. But when the twelve-year-old is caught preparing her aunt's opium pipe, she is shipped off to a London boarding school, far from the dangerous influence of the woman who will come to reclaim her and to control the whole family. The Binding Chair unfolds among scenes of astonishing beauty and cruelty, in a lawless place where traditions and cultures clash, and where tragedy threatens a world built on the banks of unsettled waters--from the bustling Whangpoo River to the lake of blood in the Chinese afterworld. By turns shocking, exquisite, and hilarious, The Binding Chair is another spellbinding literary triumph by the writer whose work Michiko Kakutani of The New York Times has called "powerful and hypnotic.".

The Bash Street Kids 2004 Collection is Britains comical answer the Little Rascal's in the U.S. These hilarious cartoon characters are constantly into something that provides adventure, loads of fun, of laughter, This annual collection for 2004 of The Bash Street Kids is available for shipment in September 2003..

In this hysterical follow-up to the New York Times bestseller White Girl Problems, Babe Walker travels the globe as she tries to figure out the answer to the question foremost on everyone's mind—including hers: Who is Babe Walker? If you’re one of the hundreds of thousands who devoured Babe Walker’s New York Times bestselling novel White Girl Problems or one of the million people who read her blog or follow her on Twitter daily, then you’ve obviously been waiting with bated breath for her hilarious follow-up novel, Psychos. Fresh from a four-month stint in rehab for her “alleged” shopping addiction, Babe Walker returns home to Bel Air ten pounds lighter (thanks to a stomach virus), having made amends (she told a counselor with bad skin she was smart) and confronted her past (after meeting her birth mother for the first time—a fashion model turned farmer lesbian). Although delighted to be home and determined to maintain her hard-won inner peace, Babe now faces a host of outside forces seemingly intent on derailing her path to positive change. Not only is she being trailed by an anonymous stalker, but she’s also reunited with the love of her life, a relationship that she cannot seem to stop self-sabotaging. Babe’s newfound spirituality, coupled with her faith in the universe and its messages, leads her all over the world: shoulder dancing in Paris, tripping out in Amsterdam, and hooking up in the Mediterranean, only to land her back in New York City, forced to choose between a man who is perfect in every way (except for one small detail) and a man who could be The One if only he didn’t drive Babe to utter insanity. Unapologetic and uproarious, Psychos is the send-up of the season—already as timeless as vintage Dior..

Discover why men are attracted to strong, independent women with this straight-forward, accessible dating guide from New York Times bestselling author Sherry Argov. Do you feel like you are too nice? Sherry Argov’s Why Men Love Bitches delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a “yes woman” who routinely sacrifices herself. The author provides compelling answers to the tough questions women often ask: -Why are men so romantic in the beginning and why do they change? -Why do men take nice girls for granted? -Why does a man respect a woman when she stands up for herself? Full of advice, hilarious real-life relationship scenarios, “she says/he thinks” tables, and the author’s unique “Attraction Principles,” Why Men Love Bitches gives you bottom-line answers. It helps you know who you are, stand your ground, and relate to men on a whole new level. Once you’ve discovered the feisty attitude men find so magnetic, you’ll not only increase the romantic chemistry—you’​ll gain your man's love and respect with far less effort..

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In this wild, witty and wired satire of the Microsoft phenomenon, Macworld magazine's acclaimed humorist and columnist David Pogue assembles the greatest Microsoft jokes ever e-mailed, faxed, downloaded, or even spoken. Example...How many Bill Gates does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. He holds the bulb and lets the world revolve around him.The timing has never been better for a Microsoft joke book. The colossal success of Bill Gates and his massive company has spawned a major backlash in the past year. Microsoft jokes are all the rage -- you can see them printed in Newsweek or posted on the Net. Now David Pogue has collected the best of these jokes in one hilarious volume. No installation required! No RAM required! No slow-moving, over-sized software to drive you nuts! Just jokes. Lots of them.Includes: - Windows 95 horror stories from Shakespeare to Captain Kirk - Bill Gates at the Pearly Gates - the first-ever MicroSloth infomercial drinking game songs light bulb jokes - and more..

"Amy? Hello?" I went inside and searched the entire place.Amy was gone.Hooray!!!!!***Meet Nick. He's kind of dumb. Meet his wife, Amy. She's kind of a bitch. One day Amy goes missing. What happened? Find out...in GONE BITCH!GONE BITCH is the hilarious new parody of Gone Girl which will have you on the edge of your seat AND rolling on the floor. All your favorite characters from Gone Girl are here...but way funnier!First off, there's NICK. Nick doesn't seem particularly upset that his wife is missing, or particularly anxious to find her. But he is perfectly willing to stop by the searches for Amy...because he can try to pick up girls there using lines like, "I'd like to search YOUR woods." Nick also loves lying to the police. For example, Nick's alibi for the morning Amy disappeared is that he was hang gliding, taking a karate lesson, and shooting a major motion picture with Keanu Reeves.There's also AMY, Nick's wife. Amy is basically the worst person ever. Which is unsurprising, since she's a really hot girl. Therefore her one goal in life is to make her hot girlfriends jealous, no matter what it takes. Would Amy really stoop so low as to frame Nick for murder just to make her hot girlfriends jealous? If you don't know the answer, then you haven't hung out with enough really hot girls.There's GO, Nick's sister. Go makes out with Nick a lot, but don't get the wrong idea: they are NOT having sex. (Although they do get to third base once in a while.)There's RAND and MARYBETH, Amy's parents, whose "Idiotic Amy" book series chronicles the embarrassing moments of Idiotic Amy, a girl who looks suspiciously like Amy and does embarrassing things suspiciously like things Amy has done. The books have been a huge success, with millions of girls worldwide buying volumes like "Idiotic Amy Wets The Bed" and "Idiotic Amy and the Guy She Had Sex With and Never Called Her Again".There's DESI COLLINGS, who's been stuck in the friend zone with Amy since kindergarten. Desi still hopes that one day Amy will come around and want to take things to another level, but tragically, he fails to realize that no guy ever escapes from the friend zone.And don't forget BONEY and GILPIN, the detectives investigating Amy's disappearance. They strongly suspect the "crime scene" in Nick's living room is fake, because it's pretty hard for a grand piano to flip upside down accidentally.With every page of GONE BITCH the tension builds:Will Nick go to jail?Will Amy ever return?Will Nick ever get over his diarrhea from eating a search volunteer's Frito pie?You'll want to keep reading to find out what happens, but you might not be able to stop laughing long enough to do so!Before you see the movie, read the book...that makes fun of the movie!Get GONE BITCH today!.